I want to bury myself

I don't feel like bringing this further. I just want it to stay the way it is now, nothing more. Just this way will be so much better, there will be no frustrations no future heartbreaks. No reasons or explanations needed to give to one another.

Sometimes I'm even confused with myself what is going on in my mind. It is not his fault that he is similar in so many ways. It's just unfair to him that I'm judging things this way. But it is unfair to me also, I feel as if im facing the whole vicious cycle again. I'm afraid to start this all over again I'm tired of going through the same thing. But sometimes I feel differently.

Why are they so alike in so many ways? I feel sorry that I'm making him pay for a crime or mistake that was not his. Sometimes I know I have to put an end to this, sometimes I think that no, they are totally two different persons. I just keep contradicting myself with the reasons.

This whole post doesn't make sense at all. I just want to get this off my mind for now. Arghhh. Someone just wack me in my head real hard please.